You will never read what you are about to read anywhere else about conversation skills.
Let me say it once and for all:
The “experts” have it all wrong about how to become a great conversationalist.
Here’s the REAL secret to massively improving your conversation skills:
Stop worrying about conversation TOPICS.
“What you talkin’ bout Willis?!“, you’re probably saying to yourself right now.
If you’ve ever studied conversation advice, people might have told you that you should read the newspaper and study recent news topics so you can always have them handy to converse with other people.
Am I right?!
But, I abhor this advice.
All that following this advice will do for you is to make you a mediocre conversationalist, and worse yet, an utter and complete bore.
All it teaches you is topics, but it doesn’t really teach how to become a better conversationalist.
That’s right, you read me correctly. Let me say it again:
STOP WORRYING ABOUT CONVERSATION TOPICS.
Contrary to what you’ve been told by so-called experts, a great conversationalist is NOT somebody who knows endless topics to talk about.
Instead, a great conversationalist is somebody who KNOWS HOW TO CREATE CONDITIONS which allow EVERYONE in a conversation to bring the conversation to a different, higher level TOGETHER, a conversation that I call a “fast lane conversation“.
In order to create these conditions, do not focus on TOPICS, but focus on having the right TYPES of conversations.
When you direct a conversation towards becoming the right TYPE of conversation, the conversation takes off and becomes a “fast lane conversation”.
Many of my readers who want to improve in conversation skills have asked me for some examples of a “fast lane conversation”.
Well, I just had one over this past weekend with my best friend and this is how it went:
My best friend (who is a huge Lakers fan) and I were chatting about the Lakers being so “top heavy” with Lebron James and Anthony Davis, that they would have to find ten other players willing to play on minimum salaries.
We joked that the Lakers are hurting so badly for players that they might be desperate enough to let us join the team.
So, this is how our “fast lane” conversation went:
Me: Maybe the Lakers will come calling!
Buddy: I got my call yesterday, didn’t you?
Me: Um…I’m sure I just missed the call and it went to a voicemail I don’t check. Yeah, that must be what happened!
Buddy: The roster is actually already halfway decent, we don’t really need you.
Me: Yeah, but they’d be even more decent if they had me.
Buddy: I’ll talk to Rob (Pelinka, the Laker’s General Manager) and see what I can do for you.
Me: I appreciate that. You and Rob are on a first name basis already?! That’s a bit fast isn’t it?
Buddy: Yep, I’m going to his house for Thanksgiving this year.
Me: At this rate, pretty soon you’ll be the best man at his wedding! Kobe (Bryant, who is Rob Pelinka’s best friend) is gonna be so pissed you stole his best friend.
Buddy: Yep, I’m taking over for Kobe.
Me: You and Rob are BFFs already! Kobe and I have been cruelly banished to the end of the bench never to be heard from again. The scorn and humiliation is too great.
Buddy: Well, maybe you can be Kobe’s new best friend.
Me: I don’t think we’ll ever be BFFs like you and Rob, but we’ve bonded quite a bit talking shit about you and Rob. When we get together, that’s all we can talk about while we cry tears of sadness into our mocktails.
Buddy: I’m sure that’s exactly what you guys are doing.
Me: Not exclusively. We also get together to play with voodoo dolls. And these voodoo dolls, they look JUST LIKE you and Rob. We take turns poking our needles into them, paying special attention to the groin area.
Buddy: I knew it, no wonder I’ve been getting random pains there!
Me: Yep, those “mosquito bites” you said you got yesterday were not mosquitoes after all!
Buddy: No wonder! That explains it all!
Me: You can start feeling better once you and Pelinka stop being so goddamn chummy!
Buddy: Fine! I just deleted him from my phone book. Just please stop the madness!
Me: Finally, your flirtation with Robbie Boy is over! Okay okay, I’ll put the voodoo dolls away.
Buddy: Thank god, I better not get any more mosquito bites tonight or I’m coming after you!
Me: Sorry bro, I’m good now. But, I can’t promise Kobe won’t hold a grudge. His Rob Pelinka voodoo doll is a mess.
(This “fast lane conversation” kept going on and on, but you get the point…)
This particular hilarious conversation had us both rolling on the ground holding our stomachs, and this is how we always are whenever we get together. And, its why we’re such good friends.
In order to transform what was a mundane sports conversation into a “fast lane conversation”, we used Fast Lane Formulas #1 and #5 from my conversation skills program, Conversation Superstar.
Now that you know what a “fast lane conversation” looks like, learn all SEVENTEEN foolproof Fast Lane Formulas that will allow you to transform any conversation into the right TYPE of conversation, i.e. a “fast lane conversation”, anytime you want.
If you struggle to talk to people or are tired of never being able to get out of only having mundane small talk, Conversation Superstar will truly change your life.
Get Conversation Superstar for 51% off.
Hurry and take advantage of this discount, I will not be keeping this post up forever!
P.S. If you want to see two more examples of “fast lane conversations”, get my a copy of my Conversation Manifesto for free here.